One week postpartum

Yesterday was exactly one week since Melayna was born. It already seems like forever ago. Or perhaps it seems that way due to the late night feedings and having to care for two children now? Either way, my little girl is doing well. Feeding is still a struggle with her, but I'm still trying my best.

Now, I seem to think that I'm cursed. Let me explain...

When my son was born, I was living with my mother, who was also pregnant. Five weeks after Tristan was born, my beautiful sister came into this world. Unfortunately, a few weeks after she gave birth, my mother passed away. Partially due to the pregnancy and a pre-existing condition she had. That was a tough time to face in my life. All of us had a really difficult time understanding why it had happened.

Alright, so why am I cursed? Well, just a few days after giving birth to my daughter, my grandmother was taken to the hospital. Her health issues are too numerous to mention. Basically, she's lived long enough that her body is slowly shutting down. We already had known that this day was coming soon. A little over a month ago, my dad and I were getting papers notarized (POA and such) to prepare for the inevitable. So, this situation is a little different than what happened to my mother. But either way, I'm afraid to have another kid. I'm running out of relatives to lose. But in some way, this is one of those plans that God has for us (I'm not very religious, but I have some inkling that God has some part in all this). We bring in a new life into this world (with my mother's case it was two lives - my son and my sister). But new life needs tending to and looking after - a guardian angel, I guess. My mother watches over my son and my sister - at least I like to think so. When my grandmother walks the valley, she will look after Melayna. In fact, I think she was waiting to see her - that way she knows who to look after. Is it weird to think that? I know that we were crazy to do so, but we took the kids to visit her in the hospital. For half an hour, Melayna slept in my grandmother's arms. My grandmother just adored her. She wanted to lay there forever just holding her great-granddaughter. My dad told me that it was all she could talk about when he visited her later that day. He told me that he believed she was waiting for that and now that she is happy, she can leave in peace. I confirmed with him that I thought the same thing. The hospital has done all that they could for her. She'll be discharged in the next day or so. After which, she will be in a nursing home. We only hope that she goes peacefully in her sleep - no pain or suffering. While I will be saddened to lose my grandmother - my last grandparent, I know that it is her time and that she is ready.


Well, I can't end things on a low note, so here's what Tristan has been up to. Big brothers have it tough with a newborn around. I try my best to squeeze in "Mommy" time, but most of the day I have Melayna to tend to - feeding her, changing her diapers, and rocking her to sleep. So, his time with me is very limited. He's been acting up lately and not listening to what we say. Fortunately, it hasn't been in the form of aggression towards his sister. He's going stir crazy I think - so, we try to get him outside for at least 30 minutes a day. Today, I took him out to blow bubbles. Even though he's been acting up a bit more than before Melayna came along, he still amazes me with his talent.

Here are his latest magnadoodle creations. Below each one, I've labelled them with what he told us he was drawing.

Alligator

Cat

Elephant

Elephant

Turtle

His drawings are becoming more and more recognizable. He's learned, I think, by watching us draw. He is constantly asking us to draw elephants, turtles, giraffes, and every other animal imaginable. He loves animals and he loves art. I often wonder what he'll grow up to be. If he sticks with what he likes now...a veterinarian or animal caretaker (hopefully not like Steve Irwin though - that is a little too extreme for a mother's worrisome heart).

Well, I gotta go and make cookies with Tristan (more "Mommy" time).